Here’s a simple practice you can do the next time you try to do something impossible and come up against an insurmountable obstacle.
Ask yourself 1 question:
Is the struggle internal or external?
What I mean by that is that anytime you run into a problem, there are 2 ways to react.
You can talk about what’s happening with your surroundings and your environment, or you can talk about what’s going on with you.
What’s causing me to feel like this is so impossible?
If you find yourself talking about external events affecting your behavior, you are giving up control over the solution.
- Your surroundings
- The current situation
- The power is out.
Whatever it is – if you’re focusing on the idea that there’s some outside force doing something to you, you’re going to have a hell of a time getting out of it.
That’s because if you’re accepting that the world is doing something TO you, you’ve already decided that the world does things to you and you just have to deal with it.
Resilient people don’t think like that.
Resilient people do things to the world.
They know that no matter who you are and no matter what’s going on around you, the problem is almost NEVER someone or something else.
The problem is almost always…you.
That’s why soft people look externally – “Look at all the things that are happening to me.”
The problem with this mentality is that it’s not real. Most of the things aren’t actually happening TO you, they’re just happening and you happen to be caught up in it.
Even if things are actually happening TO you, there’s seldom anything you can do about it – so you can either continue to be caught up in it and revel in the fact that you are helpless…
Or you can batten down the hatches and figure out how to persevere throughout it.
That’s why, when soft people look externally, resilient people look internally.
Instead of asking “what’s happening to me?” – they ask “what’s happening with me?”
They ask questions like:
- How am I treating myself?
- What routines am I purposely doing? (or have I fallen into?)
- What mental state do I put myself in?
- How am I sleeping / eating / feeding myself (both physically and mentally)?
The best way to do this is to look at key habits in your life. What are you doing when you feel the best? It might not be overtly obvious at the outset, but every time you find yourself in a good space – it’s not by accident. You’ve most likely done a few specific things to get there.
Resilient people understand these routines & habits and work to create them on a regular basis – even when things are crashing down around them.
How To Batten Down The Hatches
There’s a million things you can do, but I ask myself about 3 things. They tend to revolve around these items:
- My body – “Am I taking care of myself?”
- My mind – “What’s my head game look like?”
- Creation – “Am I creating in the world or am I just observing?”
These work as a “grounding” mechanism so you come back down to normal and get back in the day.
For me, this means, that I have 3 main habits I need to do to feel good for a day:
- Workout (get moving and improve my body)
- Write (get things out of my head and onto paper)
- Be Productive (get 1 measurable and meaningful thing done per day)
If I get those 3 things done every day, there’s a 98% chance it’s a good day.
And NONE of that depends on anyone or anything else other than myself and my resolve to do those 3 things.
For you, it might be a series of things:
- lift something heavy
- screaming into a bag
Whatever it is – figure it out and do it. Every day.
If you find yourself tossing in the waves, trying to figure it out and everything seems harder than usual – go back through the day and ask yourself if you keep talking to yourself about your external circumstances.
If you are, come back to you – figure out how you can make it personal, get back to your grounding habits and figure out what’s going on with you. Fix it.
And don’t forget to keep going.
=> If you want to become more resilient, check out Season 1 of the Impossible Radio Podcast here.