Earlier today I got this tweet from David and he got me started thinking. I actually had a whole different post planned for today, but I think this is a really, really good question that deserves an answer.
[blackbirdpie id=”28046401471″]For those of you that can’t read the embedded tweet, he asked
@joelrunyon – question: at what point does one admit, ” this thing IS impossible,” and give up? And how does one regroup.after failure?
I know a lot of people don’t like it when people question their message, idea or opinions, but I find that truth isn’t afraid of dissent or questions. Honestly, if you’re worried about someone questioning your beliefs or voicing their own, maybe your beliefs weren’t really that strong to begin with. With that in mind.
I want to know what you think
- Is anything really impossible? Are we really capable of anything?
- If so, where do you draw the line? When do you give up? When do you quit?
- If you do quit, how do you go about it and how do you regroup afterwards?
- Does failing at one impossible thing mean you have to start being “realistic”?
Comment below with your answers and I’ll round up the best answers and feature them here next Thursday, October 28th along with my own view and hopefully we’ll end up with some great impossible ideas from not just myself, but you guys.
Also, please feel free to share this if you’re so inclined. We can all benefit from others opinions & views, even if we don’t necessarily agree with them.
Keep doing the impossible.
[Photo by Michaelangelo]
Failure at one thing doesn’t mean you won’t succeed at anything else, failing once is part of learning. You try again with the new lessons that you’ve learned.
I would love to say that I never give up and it’s always possible, but that’s not the case. I have two exceptions I can readily think of off the top of my head.
1) Risking permanent damage to my health. If I won’t be able to do something that I love in the future for doing it or something else now, obviously it’s time for a break or to stop doing whatever it is. I’m not going to ruin my wrists by writing or biking too much, I’ll switch to something else for awhile that won’t hurt them.
2) Debt – I’ve learned (courtesy of my mortgage for my beautiful home)that debt is slavery. You can get chained into doing something you hate to pay for the one thing you like or thought you would like. If I have to incur debt to pay for something, well I’m going to have to regroup and wait until I can pay for it outright. It’s not a complete stop, but a wait until later. Of course, 99% of the time there’s a cheaper way of doing it, and I will look for that as well.
I think there are probably things that ARE impossible, however, I don’t believe those things can be modified to be more realistic. For centuries, man’s dream of flying was considered impossible…but give us a plane and we can do so. Going to the moon? Just get a shuttle.
If what you are doing turns out to truly be impossible, perhaps there is a detail that you have tied yourself to emotionally that is preventing the dream. Wanting to be a millionaire in a year? People have done that so it IS possible. Wanting to be a millionaire in a year while sitting on your ass doing nothing? Might be a detail that doesn’t quite jive with the overall dream.
If what you are doing appears impossible, perhaps you need to look at the details of your plan and figure out what piece of it is an obstacle.
I think it IS realistic to keep chasing after things that may appear impossible at first. All progress is one person’s attempt at proving the impossible…POSSIBLE.
as a wise man once said “it’s only impossible, until someone does”
I don’t think something is impossible, I mean just look at what humans have created that someone once thought was impossible.
I’d like to know what this “impossible thing is” maybe you don’t have the resources available yet or the believe that it can be possible. I know this might sound corny but if you believe something can be done it can and if you believe it can’t you’re still right, but there will be someone that will challenge that thought, and make it possible.
“If you’re worried about someone questioning your beliefs or voicing their own, maybe your beliefs weren’t really that strong to begin with.” Beautifully put, Joel. I fully believe in this.
To answer your questions:
1. Is anything really impossible? Are we really capable of anything?
If one is referring to factual and scientific laws that is seriously impossible, then maybe it is. But how does one *truly* know that unless one experiments? Questions the laws? Examines such facts as merely that of interpretation?
Like how the whole world believed the earth was flat and would not venture out into the ocean for fear of falling into the abyss, if not for Christopher Columbus?
I believe, we, as human beings, ARE really capable of anything. This is not to say we are unrealistic and impractical.
Being unrealistic and impractical is when one believes NOTHING is possible and therefore, never fully lives a life worth living for. Never takes the risks that would make us healthier, happier, more fulfilled people. Never jumps and tries anything for fear of failure or looking like a fool in front of others.
2. If so, where do you draw the line? When do you give up? When do you quit?
One quits when one realizes that whatever s/he is doing is not adding positive value in their world or our world at large. Or, if it’s merely just not the right timing for the person.
But one should never, ever quit just because the task at hand seems loomingly difficult, long, and treacherous.
In fact, those are the journeys we MUST take for it will change us as a person, for the better.
Challenges are meant to be challenging. If we decidedly opted for comfort, safety, and the well-worn path of the status quo all our lives, we will have never experienced a full and abundant life filled of abundant possibilities.
3. If you do quit, how do you go about it and how do you regroup afterwards?
I have quit many times before. Whether that is in an activity, career, hobby, relationship, or task. But the decision to let go and quit must be accompanied by the reassuring fact that it is actually OKAY to quit.
I regroup by doing what I know I love to do, all my life. That is, being on my own, reading, writing, or the arts.
When I read, I read. When I write, I write. When I paint, I paint. Nothing else in this world matters during my times of growth after a let down or my decision to quit something I thought I had wanted.
4. Does failing at one impossible thing mean you have to start being “realistic”?
Absolutely not. Being realistic, for the most part, is all relative.
Realism to unconventional thinkers and doers means living a radical life where we are our own authority figures.
Realism to average thinkers and those who follow traditional and standard measures of success means one needs to do x-y-z in that proper order. But for radicals? It can be Z-X-?-*-E-!.
There is no “proper” course for one’s life. It is meant to be defined by that person only. Not by anyone else. Not by society. Not by our partner. Not by our family. No one, but yourself.
After reading Seth Godin’s The Dip, I agree when he says the skill is in knowing when to quit. Quitting in itself may, at first look, be the impossible thing. It takes strength to make that call.
Of course, there are things that are impossible. I am a mathematician, I know a bunch of things that are impossible (like having a non-commutative finite field, for those of you in algebra, or writing an elliptic function in terms of simple functions, for you in calculus), but unless you can prove something is impossible, and if you have some kind of evidence it may be possible, you should NOT stop trying.
See it this way: it will only be impossible as soon as you stop trying. Then, it will be certainly impossible: for you.
Cheers,
Ruben
Latest in my blog: 3 Ways to Sharpen Your Saw Daily
I finished the book “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell today. One point he touches on in the book is that Math students from Asia were quizzed and tested and their success in math was 100% attributed to how long they spent working on a solution to a given math problem.
North American students averaged 2 minutes before they gave up – but as you can guess, the Asian students almost never gave up – even if it took them 20 minutes, and in one example 2 full weeks on one math problem.
Gladwell cites many reasons why the asian students fail to give up, but we need to learn from that, and become honest with ourselves in terms of whether we truly give our goals our best efforts before throwing in the towel.
Personally, collaboration is what carries me through a situation that seems too big for me to handle on my own.
James St. James
This is a valuable post, enriched by some amazing comments.
Most people say their goal is impossible far too soon, when they’re nowhere near to having done all they can do achieve that goal.
I think when you quit prematurely, it’s because of one or several of these things:
1. not wanting to get outside your comfort zone
2. fear of time & effort going to waste
3. fear of losing things you like, if you do achieve the goal (such as anonymity, or having lots of free time to laze around)
I agree with Melissa above, that there are other valid barriers to doing all you can do, barriers you should not cross, such as recklessly getting into debt, or recklessly endangering your health.
One question you might like to explore Joel is this:
“When you take risks to achieve your goals, how do you decide which risks are worth taking and which are not?”
When to quit? If you’re asking that question—you’re doing it wrong! Quitting is such a stigmatised word as we tend to associate quitting with failure (“winners never quit”, remember?) But really, you need to get off the issue all together.
The question is not “should I give up now”? But “do I still want this?”
The problem with the first question is that it puts your focus on your struggle and shortcoming. The second question however, reminds you of what it was all about to begin with. If that fire is still there, fan the flames. Get back to inspiration rather than problem solving. But if you can no longer find a compelling reason to continue, by all means walk away. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with changing your mind or resetting your goals. Just make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. If your reason involves “this is too hard and I’m not good enough”, you know you’re asking lousy questions and you need to change your mindset.
The boundary between the possible and the impossible is simply a matter of identity. Transcend your limiting identity and the world changes before your very eyes. And once you’ve transcended one impossible thing, you can never again give the word any credence.