I went to a Jack Johnson concert this past weekend. Needless to say, Jack was fantastic. He played for a few hours, had G Love open for him and Jack ended with “Better Together.” Great concert. People were singing along, everyone was happy and everything.
Then the concert ended.
Suddenly the concert turned into a mad house. People dashed for their cars in hopes of beating the traffic jam. [Obviously the easiest way to avoid traffic is just to bike or walk there – in which case Tammy Strobel has you covered, but I drove]. Still, while everyone else sat in traffic for 30-45 minutes, we got out in less than 10 minutes because of these 5 lessons:
Don’t Follow The Crowd
There’s always a different way. When we first got into the car, nobody would let us out of our actual parking spot and into the line that was wrapping around the end of our aisle. After they made it down to the end of our aisle, it emptied into one main funnel to leave the concert.
After staring at the car in front of us and seeing that neither one of seeing that neither of us were moving and that even if we were, they weren’t going to let us in, I decided to check out my options. I looked behind my car and sure enough, there was an open path behind us leading right to the main exit. I shifted into reverse, backed up right into the main funnel exiting the lot. I cut out what had to be 20 minutes of just sitting around by not following the crowd and making my own way.
If You Want Something, Take It
How much time do you spend waiting for something to happen to you, when you just need make it happen yourself?
In traffic, 90% of the time people will not let you in front of them. It must be something about feeling dominant in our cars, but people are very hesitant to actually wave you in front of themselves or let you in, even if there’s space for you.
Stop asking and start taking.
This is actually pretty out of character for me. I’m all about respect and I’m not in anyway suggesting you be a jerk, but there are ways to be aggressive and go after what you want without be a douchebag about it. Honestly, the person doesn’t own that space in front of their car. It’s fair game. Be aggressive. Be respectful.
For the record: I’m not a fan of cutting people off or those people who see that their lane is merging but drive all the way to the very end anyways to bypass traffic and squeeze in at the last second. Don’t be that guy, but you can look for empty space and when you see it and want it, you can slowly, confidently move in and assert it as yours.Lots of times people aren’t paying attention because they’re focused on the frustration of the situation rather than the opportunities available. Other people are just waiting around waiting for someone to lead and take charge. You can be that person, but nobody will tell you that. Nobody will delegate that position to you. You have to decide on your own to be that person and take that responsibility. When you see an open space/new opportunity go for it. Don’t wait for someone to tell you it’s okay, just do it!
Gary Vaynerchuk has a great video on this. If you want something, take it. Make it happen
Seriously, Don’t Follow The Crowd – Be Different
It’s okay. Seriously. Have you ever seen dozens of people doing something incredibly stupid for no apparent reason and asked yourself the question “why is everybody doing that?” only to go ahead and do the same thing just to avoid being different?
Group think is dangerous and ineffective. Don’t do it!
Once we got out of the main concert area we got onto one of the main roads heading towards the freeway. All the cars were lined up in the right lane for anywhere between 1/2 and 3/4 mile.
There was no one [literally no one] in the left lane and the right lane was at a standstill. I couldn’t see very far ahead, but I assumed [as did everyone else] that the left lane was either closed up ahead or that people were not in the lane for a reason. After sitting in the right lane for about a minute, I decided to just do it and jumped in the left lane to find out what was ahead.. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that there was nothing blocking the lane whatsoever. Nothing. I drove right past everyone in the right lane all the way up to the freeway while everyone else just sat there waiting for the person in front of them to go faster.
Just because everyone is doing somethings a certain way, doesn’t mean it’s effective and/or even right.
Do a Risk Analysis on EVERYTHING
It’s very likely, you’re over-exaggerating the consequences of whatever risk you’re planning on taking [Matt Chevy wrote a great article on this yesterday]. You can combat this by doing a quick risk analysis on anything you want to do. A risk analysis sounds long and complicated, but all you have to do is ask your self a few questions:
- What’s the worst that could happen
- Is that really such a terrible outcome?
- How likely is it that outcome will happen?
Here’s an example:
With my earlier scenario example of the open left lane. Without knowing what was ahead, there were three bad things that could have happened:
- The lane could have been blocked off and I would have to merge back into the slow lane [not so terrible, but very possible].
- I could have been pulled over and arrested for breaking some law that wasn’t posted [kind of terrible, not very likely].
- I could have driven over a land mine that everyone else knew was there, but wasn’t telling me [pretty terrible, hopefully very unlikely].
OR
- I could have driven the entire way to the freeway while bypassing the entire other lane without anyone else in the lane leaving everyone else to sit in traffic for no other reason than “just cause” [not terrible at all – for me – but somewhat possible].
When you lay it out like that, makes decisions a lot easier. Yes, a land mine would have been bad to drive over, but it’s also not a situation that’s very likely to actually happen. Also, while it was entirely possible that the police could have blocked off the lane up the road somewhere or I could have gotten in trouble for making that decision, the penalty for being wrong about that [a brief talk with an officer and 5 minutes of trying to jostle back into position in line that was a 20-30 minute wait] you realize the risk is so minimal, it’s almost a no-brainer.
Yet, I was the only one who did it.
Sometimes the masses are dong something for a reason…but a lot of times they aren’t. They’re just doing what everyone else is doing. Doing a quick risk assessment can help tell you when you’re being wise by following conventional wisdom and when you’re wasting your time following the crowd.
Happy > Mad
Sometimes you’ll have a hard time doing any of the above things. Sometimes you’re just stuck. You can’t move, and you’re surrounded by people who can’t moving and there’s nothing you can do except wait:
You have two options. You can:
- Get pissed, lay on the horn and yell at everybody around you, telling them they’re all idiots while missing out on all the opportunities happening around you.
- Realize you just came from a Jack Johnson concert [or insert recent activity you’re grateful for here], chill out and enjoy life the best you can while lying in wait for your next big opportunity.
Nobody wants to be stuck in traffic or in life, but it happens. 90% of the time you have options. But for the 10% of the time that you don’t, don’t freak out. It’s going to be okay. When you need to be patient, be patient, and wait for the next opportunity that presents itself. But when it does, don’t be afraid to be different and go get it.
[Photo Credit] *Please don’t drive recklessly and please don’t be a jerk while driving. There’s a fine line between being “aggressive” while driving and being a regarded as a terrible driver. Walk it carefully.
Nice Joel! Here is the one thing I take away from this: don’t hesitate when presented with an opportunity. Do a quick risk analysis and then just go for it. When you hesitate you miss out on opportunities. How often have we found ourselves just following the herd and ignoring alternative ways of doing things?
The concert looked like it was awesome! Glad you had a great time.
Concert was amazing =)
It baffled me that nobody else even bothered to *try* the other lanes. They were just content to be upset that the status quo was slow and they *couldn’t* do anything abou tit.
I always ask myself, “What’s the worse that can happen?” And then I decide to gamble with fate. Kind of scary, according to my mom. But I prefer to live that way.
And definitely never follow the crowd, though there’s a certain balance that needs to be found. My dad once told me something that stuck: in order to make a difference, you need to at first go with the grain. But that does NOT apply to traffic.
AND YES! Happy is always greater than mad. I don’t get mad in traffic much any more. Glass half full is better than half empty in my opinion.
The “worst” that can happen, usually isn’t the “worst.” Our brains like to mess with us and scare us away from the things that we’re not familiar with.
Life’s too short to get mad. Enjoy the moment, even when they suck, they make for great memories!
Second blogger this week that I’ve seen use the word “douchebag” in a post. I love it!
You know, I can’t remember where I first heard it (might have been Tim Ferriss) but this post reminds me of the saying “Ask forgiveness, not permission.” I tend to be a little on the shy side, and as such I too often fall into the trap of not wanting to rock the boat or inconvenience anyone. But when there’s something that I really feel like I need to go after, I try to remind myself of that adage.
On another note, you mentioned “those people who see that their lane is merging but drive all the way to the very end anyways to bypass traffic and squeeze in at the last second”. I have a game that I love to play with these people. When I see one coming in my rearview, I pull out into that lane and just stay there. Usually the people in the main traffic lane will realize what I’m doing and keep my space open so that I can get back in. It’s a good way to amuse yourself in traffic jams – watching the “cutter’s” face turn shades of purple with rage in your rearview mirror, but unable to do anything to retaliate because everyone else is on your side…
Dude, I’m the same way. I like to avoid confrontation, but sometimes people just need someone to step up and do something and sometimes that needs to be you.
Sometimes you just gotta call it the way you see it 🙂
Btw. that’s a terrible game you play with the jerk drivers (I do the same thing). I’m not trying to antagonize them, but it is fairly annoying when you know that they know exactly what they’re doing.
That picture is awesome! I especially liked your point about happy > mad. When someone is ranting and raving, they do tend to miss opportunities that could get them out of the situation faster (like you backing up to the main exit. You wouldn’t have seen that if you were yelling at the car in front of you to let you in). Not to mention, getting mad will do you absolutely no good, so why bother wasting the energy? There’s just no point.
Exactly. Yelling won’t make anyone do anything except think you’re a jerk.
Better to keep a clear head and be ready for everything =)
Life lessons from a traffic jam. Hilarious. Seriously though, life’s a lot simpler and a whole lot more fun without so many rules. I’m talking about the rules we make for ourselves more than anything, and all the behaviours that are kind of conditioned by society and mob thinking (left lane must be blocked). Here’s a fun social experiment to try: stand in a public place with at least one friend and look directly up into the sky. It wont be long before others join you.
It would probably be a bit hypocritical of me to say don’t bother with the risk analysis because I often tend to over think things a bit; but what I would like to suggest is: Go your own way because you’re following your heart, or your instincts, not because you’re trying to “beat the system”; you’re just realising you don’t have to follow convention. You don’t have to make other people wrong because they don’t conform to your expectations either. The guy trying to cue jump in merging traffic might be rushing a pregnant wife to the hospital for all you know. It doesn’t diminish you. Live and let live, I say.
Peace,
Lach
Queue, even.
I just say “line” =)
I’ve heard stories about people staring at the sky just to see what happens =) It’s hilarious how easily manipulated we can be.
Definitely agree with following your instinct & passion. Sometimes people just want to be “different” to be “different” but I think it’s more important to intentionally be yourself rather than just being different for the sake of being different.
Thanks for the insightful post, Joel! Its funny , but last week I went to the Jack show in Michigan and the same EXACT thing happened to me with the post concert traffic. (you weren’t at the same show were you?!?) I sat in the right lane for a minute and decided to go for the open lane to the left and breezed my way past everyone right on down to the freeway. Symbolic? Very much so. You must create your own path.
I think that avoiding risk over-analysis is important, but another huge part of taking that step to be different and creating your own path is to *trust* that you will find your way, even if you don’t know what that way is at the time.
“When you get to the edge of a cliff and have no where else to go, you must take that next step. You will either find a place to put your foot, or you will learn to fly.”
I find that if you take steps in the direction you want to go, you will start to build momentum, opportunities will arise, and the flow of life will push you along. And before you know it, you will breeze your way right on to the FREEway 🙂
Thanks again for the great post!
haha, nope! I was at the one in Indy!
Totally agree on not-overanalyzing some things. I call it [not my original term] paralysis by analysis. [I’ll have a post about it soon] but when you start to think things too much basically you don’t know what to do so you shut down. The risk analysis I talked about should take 10 seconds, probably 5. Then ACT.
Thanks for the great thoughts Jill!
Hey Joel,
Awesome post.
Have you ever tried driving in the LA area?
You have to take the spot in front of the driver. The traffic there is atrocious to the point where there’s no respect at all. No one will give you anything. You have to literally force your way into a tiny spot most of the time. So I say assertiveness on the road is 100% essential. Then again, highway 405 is a parking lot during rush hour.
I hate driving in LA. So terrible, I don’t even want to think about it. Chicago has bad traffic, but LA is worse.