When trying to make a big change, a lot of people focus on all the things they’ll have to restrict to achieve a goal.
“In order to do this, I can’t do that (etc., etc., etc.,)”
In the short term that approach can work well, but in the long term it can lead to a series of decisions that are made based on feelings of guilt, instead of feelings inspired by one’s purpose.
I’ve noticed this more and more over the past couple years and I’ve started implementing the “Worth It Rule” by asking the simple question:
“Is this worth it?”
The Worth It Rule
You can do anything you want, as long as you are okay with the answer you get when you look at yourself in the mirror and ask, “is this worth it?”
Similar to the No Limits Diet, I took this concept and applied it to my life.
You can do anything you want, just make sure that it’s worth it.
- Want to watch that TV Show? That’s cool – just make sure it’s worth it.
- Want to eat that donut? Eat it. Just make sure it’s damn good donut.
- Want to spend money on a trip? Make sure you enjoy the heck out of it.
Here’s the real problem:
Too many people settle for mediocre options and then get upset about it.
Maybe the person ate a mediocre croissant and felt guilty AND didn’t feel good because of how it made them feel.
Maybe it’s spending time with friends who are “there”, but don’t challenge, push, or help you become the person you want to be. Once in a while that’s okay, but if you spend all your time with them, is it really going to be worth your time investment?
If you want to lie on the couch instead of workout today, that may be okay. But ask yourself “is calling in today worth it?”
If you want to treat yourself to a prize or a treat, that’s completely fine. But ask yourself how you’re going to feel afterwards.
Donald Miller has a great take on this and asks you to ask yourself:
The whole goal for this exercise is to move from passive decision making to conscious decision making.
- If you don’t want to stick to your outlined plan, fine. But make sure you understand the consequences and ensure that they’re worth it.
- If you don’t want to do your workout today, then skip it, guilt-free, but make sure you make it worth it.
- If you want to “cheat” on your diet, don’t cheat – just have the donut, but make sure that donut is worth it.
Stop making mediocre decisions and settling for mediocre results. Start making more conscious ones.
And make sure they’re worth it.
The Worth It Rule:
You can do anything you want, as long as you are okay with the answer you get when you look at yourself in the mirror and ask, “is this worth it?”
Try it.
You hit the nail on the head, Joel!
I’ve always called this, “harming yourself deliberately,” which sounds really really edgy. But the general idea is the same – I’m not going to stop at the gas station to get a bag of M&M’s, because that’s just eating out of distraction and I won’t enjoy it.
The glass of scotch or cognac I drink after dinner, though, is definitely worth it. And because I’ve decided I’ll let myself have it, I’m less tempted to eat other bad things.
Amen to this I just had me a glass of rum chata yes it was dang worth it.lol I like the way you put your thoughts we intentionally have allowed guilt trips to take over our lives we are our biggest joy killers all along all that I had to do was made it worth it.
Great post and worth the time to read it.
Sometimes when you are about to click another link, the doubt of it not being worth it stops you. You convinced me it was worth it on your brief email by simply saying “I’d love to hear your thoughts on it”. Nice work Joel.
I liked that. It was worth the reading. Is it worthy is a good measuring stick. I like to read and so I read it areas most won’t even go to. For instance, I’ve just finished, Reaching Down the Rabbit Hole, by Dr. Ropper and Burrell. It’s about the mystery and drama of brain disease. It is humorous, enlightening, frightening, and worth it. One example: The doctor gets a new patient in the hospital. She is shaking and having seizures not stoppable. As he questions and examines, out of his vast experience, he senses she is pregnant, and orders immediately a magnesium solution to be administered, and orders a urine test for pregnancy. The next morning he is in the ward talking to another doctor relating this patient and her need. He gets a call from the lab and the test for pregnancy is negative. He turns to his doctor friend and says: What do I do? The doctor turns to walk away and says, “Don’t shoot the singing bird. Keep giving the magnesium if it is working even if the diagnosis is wrong.” The book was worth it for just that reason alone. And there were many other stories in the book that made it worth my while. I may not have known if it was going to be worth it going into it, but reading in different areas of life is worth it…so I do it….the same in exercising, eating right, etc. Thanks for your blog and postings.
Well said.
Many a time I’ve saved myself by asking that same question. If I’m going to go off my regular diet plan, it’s not going to be for McDonalds fries. It’s got to be something worth going off-plan for. Just that bit of mental gymnastics is enough to postpone cheats for something truly worth it. Like McDonalds fries in Djibouti.
Hi Joel – brilliant philosophy and so true.
Mindfulness is the word of the moment and The Worth it Rule is definitely a mindful process – as you say conscious decisions.
I love your enthusiasm – it shines through.
Thanks for making a difference.
There’s no one size fit all solution to anything. What works for one person may or may not work for the next.
You gave a big FU to excuses. We are all in control of our lives. We make the choices that affect our lives. So it’s in our best interest to decide if the choice we’re about to make is adding any value to our lives.
Does me doing X move me forward or will it cause me to stand still?
Answering that is the key to making better choices!
Nuggets like “Worth it rule”, ” Will this decision cause me to respect myself more” are like thumb rules which are common sense but still uncommon.
Reading this post again and again was worth it!
Thanks,
Yogendra
This is just what I needed to hear! I am implementing this asap!
Thank you Joel! 🙂
Great ideology, I like to mentally ‘check in’ and analyse each decision beforehand (e.g. is this going to take me one step closer or further away to my end state goals?)
The timing of this post is serendipitous. In many ways I’m at a crossroads, financially, vocationally, and socially. I will think ‘is it worth it?’ the next time I weigh a dinner out against upcoming bills, or when considering the pros and cons of a new job offer, etc. I think this allows us to let ourselves off the hook, without having to give up our goals. Keep em coming!
Great food for thought ,i liked the ideology and methods of this simple yet life changing rule. IMPLEMENTING THIS IN OUR LIVES IS DEFINITELY “WORTH IT”.
Hey Joel,
The biggest problem with this idea is that people are inherently lazy, have little self discipline, and want instant gratification.
They already know they will feel less energetic after eating that donut, but they don’t care. The rush they get from eating it and the short-term sugar spike far outweighs the consequences or how they might feel or what it might do to their health long-term.
That’s why 35% of this country is obese.
Sure there are exceptions, but in my opinion, the vast majority of people will not make the “correct” choice and instead do what they want. You and I know that very few people have clear, actionable goals and are just wading through life. Making good, conscious decisions one after another is incredibly hard given the lack of direction most people have.